Lame villain of the week: Baron Zemo

Suspension of disbelief is another way of saying Okay, let’s say we believe that it could be possible. Without this concept, we couldn’t enjoy Marvel Comics, in which some nerdy kid could become Spider-Man after being bitten by a radioactive spider, instead of dying from the venom and/or radiation, which are both poison. But sometimes, they just push the reader’s intelligence a lil’ bit too far, especially when it comes to super villains.  Here’s a classic super villain that could barely stay alive in the real world, and even less be a threat to anybody.

Baron Zemo

History and origin: Heinrich Zemo was a genius scientist working for the 3rd Reich, but people hated his guts so much that he had to conceal his identity by wearing a hood that covered his whole face, except for  two little holes for the eyes.  One day, he invented a weapon so badass it could allow Hitler to win the war: Adhesive X, a glue so powerful that nothing could tear it apart.  The Americans sent Captain America himself to shatter the vat of Adhesive X, probably thinking that once that batch was spilled, Zemo would just pout and stop producing it.  The adhesive splashed right on Zemo’s head, permanently bonding his hood to his face.

Suspensions of disbelief: Let’s say for a moment that we believe the americans were so afraid the nazis could win the war with a weapon that is basically Crazy Glue. Let’s push it a little bit further in order to accept that the guy was so afraid to be recognised, he had his hood on all the time, even when he was working all alone, hidden in his private lab.  We still have to believe that…:

A) Since Adhesixe X was such a potent glue that it fused his cowl to his face forever, how come his eyelids weren’t similarily fused shut in the process?  And if his eyes were wide open when it happened, that means the guy never blinked, not even once, for the whole time he had that goo facial.  But that would just mean that his eyelids were glued open forever, which also means he would need drops of Visine every 60 seconds or so for the rest of his life.  How the man could even have a good night’s sleep in these conditions is beyond us.

B) Okay, hm…  Mask covering his whole face, forever, including the mouth, thus rendering him incapable to eat or drink for the rest of his life. Forget about the starving part, the guy should have collasped from deshydratation alone in a matter of 36 hours.  At least Dreadknight had these tiny holes in his metal mask.

How they tried to save the concept later: Huh… Ok, in order to eat, he was… huh… Fed intravenously.  Yeah, that’s it!

How they should have saved it instead: The fact that he was able to talk proved that his mouth was wide open when his hood was fused to his face.  So, was it so hard for him to think about cutting a mouth hole into his cowl?  Geez!  And this guy was the most brilliant scientific mind of the 3rd Reich.  No wonder they lost the war.

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A propos Steve Requin

Auteur, blogueur, illustrateur, philosophe amateur et concierge de profession.
Cet article, publié dans Lame Villains, Marvel Comics, Reality Check, est tagué , . Ajoutez ce permalien à vos favoris.

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